


The Iliad and the Odyssey

by extremelyperturbed



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Amnesia, Drama, M/M, Post-Season/Series 02, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-22
Updated: 2014-11-02
Packaged: 2018-02-14 05:33:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2179863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extremelyperturbed/pseuds/extremelyperturbed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In answer to a kinkmeme prompt:   http://hannibalkink.dreamwidth.org/4770.html?thread=7560610#cmt7560610</p><p>So, complications arise from the stomach wound Hannibal gives him. Maybe an infection leading to a blood clot and lack of oxygen to the brain for a bit or whatever. It gives him amnesia. Although he comes to know who he was on paper, and that he was injured by a killer he was trying to catch, no one tells him just how close he and Hannibal were. No one elaborates on Abigail.</p><p>Anyway, some time passes and Hannibal finally wants to see Will somehow. The wound was intended to be a constant reminder of betrayal and is very meaningful, so he is incredibly irritated to find Will living quite happily in Florida with Molly and her son, with no memory of him.</p><p>The rest of the prompt is at the link.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Iliad and the Odyssey

It had been over a year since Hannibal had last seen anything about Will on Lounds’ website. The item had been about Will being discharged from the hospital and quitting the FBI. Under an assumed name, Hannibal had hired a private investigator to see what he was doing. He had half been expecting to hear that Will was in talks with either Mason Verger or various members of the elite of Baltimore to raise funds to search for Hannibal after taking most of a year to heal and rehabilitate himself. However, the report came back that Will had moved to Florida, spent much of his time fishing, found a job working at a store rebuilding boat engines and was courting a shop owner with a son. 

Hannibal could stay in Europe and enjoy traveling with Bedelia. He could safely go hunting for the occasional pig and continue to live in comfort. However, Will had been right when he said that he had changed Hannibal. Luxury, companionship with no strings attached and easy hunting no longer satisfied. 

One day, he put down keys to several safe deposit boxes, a passport and a roll of money on the table. “What is this?” said Bedelia, looking up from her cheese omelette.

“I’m setting you free,” said Hannibal. “There’s a passport for you, enough money to go anywhere in Europe and several keys to certain safe deposit boxes that’ll ensure a pleasant standard of living.”

“You’re going back for him, aren’t you?” said Bedelia.

“You don’t seem surprised.”

“I’m not. I accept your offer. I presume that as long as I keep quiet we will never see each other again.”

“You presume correctly.”

***  
He knew that he couldn’t look as he usually did when coming back to America. Instead of slicking back his hair, he let his hair down, grew it out slightly and colored it a couple shades lighter. He let a light coating of stubble grow on his face, bought a pair of sunglasses and a wardrobe of jeans and casual shirts. From what the private detective reported, Will had moved to a small town in Florida called Sugarloaf Key. The detective’s report had also warned Hannibal that it seemed that one of the side effects of Will’s injuries and subsequent coma was that he no longer remembered the past five years, perhaps even more. 

He had hoped that it was something Will was pretending to do to avoid questions but when he bumped into him at the coffee shop, there was no flicker of recognition of any kind, no arousal, no fear. While his disguise would fool the casual observer, the Will he knew would have recognized him instantly. This Will did not.

It was both easier and harder to insinuate himself into Will’s life. While Will wouldn’t be on his guard against him, Hannibal knew that Will could no longer be forced to see anybody anymore. It would have to be of Will’s own volition. He rented a small house across the street from Will. After taking careful note of where Will spent his days, he met Will at the shop he worked at and stated that he was interested in fishing but didn’t know much about it. After buying a boat and some rods and reels from him, he later met him at a local bar and he had talked with Will about how his fishing had gone.

He introduced himself as Lucas Larsen, a former general practitioner who had retired early and now wanted to spend his time relaxing somewhere warm and sunny. He courted him with beer and breakfasts, luring him back into a friendship of sorts. 

It was a matter of months before Will introduced him to Molly Foster, his girlfriend. She was a tall, pretty woman who tolerated little nonsense. She was very protective of her son, a child she had raised by herself ever since her first husband had died. Unlike others, she was not immediately charmed by Hannibal though was polite enough not to stoke his ire. She had a very strong interest in all things cancer since her husband had died of that dreaded disease and they spent some time talking about how cruel a killer it was. He could see why Will gravitated to her even if he could not bring himself to approve. In any case, he could see that Molly was not interested in latching unto a man as soon as possible but was determined to take things slow not only for her son Willy‘s sake but her own. Her reluctance is something that could work in my favor, thought Hannibal.

*** 

As Hannibal sat next to Will on his fishing boat with a line in the water, he realized that this was the first time he had ever fished with him. They had had dinners, even attended a performance in a private box and spent some time at a dog park but this was the first time he had gone with him on the water. He enjoyed the solitude, the quiet and the relaxation tinged with the anticipation of a tug of a caught fish. 

“Ever hear of Odysseus?” said Will.

Hannibal blinked. “Of course.” Will was by no means uneducated but had not expressed much interest in classical Greek mythology. “Though I’m more a fan of the Iliad.”

“Molly told me that Willy was doing a report about The Odyssey. I was thinking about how Odysseus spent a decade at war then spent another decade trying to get back home. He faced monster after monster, temptation after temptation until he got back to his kingdom.”

“Why do you think he didn’t stay with Circe or Calypso or Nausicaa?” 

“I think that for him, home and family meant more than anything else. I guess that’s why I have a hard time with superhero movies. There’s a point in a man’s life where it’s not just about fun and adventure but finding someone to be with and creating a home with them. I guess how I feel about a home is a bit like how a good king feels about his realm. He wants to make it safe, protect the people inside and care for them. Then there‘s Penelope . . .”

“Penelope? What about her?”

“In her own way, she’s just like Odysseus. She manages to put off the suitors for all the years he’s gone with various strategies like unweaving the shroud at night. And when she’s confronted with this man who claims he’s her husband, she tests him with something only he would know . . . She offers to move the bed only to have him say that the bed can’t be moved as part of it is a living tree, only then did she accept him.”

“Is Molly your Penelope?”

Will sighed. “I hope that she is. She likes strays almost as much as I do. She knows what it’s like to suffer loss.”

For Hannibal, it sounded very lacking. “That doesn’t sound like the basis of a good relationships.”

“She knows about my past and she doesn’t treat me like a curiosity. Quite a few crime groupies tried to hook up with me to find out more about Hannibal Lecter. When I told them I couldn’t remember, they just dropped me because I had nothing they wanted.”

“All I will say is this. Don’t force yourself to fall in love with someone because you think you should, be with someone that you think of constantly, dream of and would give up everything for.”

Will chuckled. “I’m not the type of guy anybody would feel that for. I shouldn’t expect anybody else to feel that for me.”

“You underestimate yourself.”

“Were you in love like that?”

“Once but we had a fight and I left. I missed him terribly so I’ve looked for him but he’s disappeared . . .” Hannibal instantly regretted revealing that the person he loved was male and hoped it wouldn’t make Will distance himself even if he had no clue that it was Will that he was talking about.

Will, however, didn‘t seem at all phased. “I’m sorry to hear that. Maybe you’ll find him again or he‘ll come back to you. But in the meantime, let yourself be open to the possibility of someone else. It‘s too hard to be alone.”

“So true.”

***  
It was during another fishing trip that Will talked about his past. 

“When I woke up in the hospital, I was really confused. I thought that I was in New Orleans being treated for being wounded on the job. They kept thrusting pictures and newspaper articles at me but I didn’t recognize any of it. Eventually, they cut me loose and I decided to give up anything to do with law enforcement and make a new life.”

“You lost all your memories after a certain point?”

“The latest memory I had before I woke up in the hospital was arguing with Jack about the name of the museum, the Evil Minds Museum. But as for the time I was profiling the Chesapeake Ripper . . . It’s all gone. From what I hear, maybe I should be glad those memories are gone. I sounded like a miserable person having a miserable time, surrounded by people who had no problem believing that I should be jailed forever.”

“But if memories make you who you are then, aren’t you missing a part of yourself?”

“Maybe it’s a part of myself I should be happy to be without,” said Will, his hand on his stomach. “I already have a memento of that time.”

“You don’t want revenge or justice?”

“Not if it means losing what I have now. You know, some of them blame me for not preventing what happened . . . Like I should‘ve gazed into my crystal ball or something. There‘s no reason I want to go back to that.”

“I find that hard to believe,” said Hannibal. He felt horribly appalled at Will’s gift being so denigrated and cast aside as worthless even if only Hannibal had found himself the only person truly able to understand it. 

“Believe it,” said Will. “Besides, I know that he has to be tracked down but . . .”

“But . . .”

“I know he left me for dead, left a girl dead, and sent Jack and Alana to the hospital. But I only know him through pictures and articles and what people tell me . . . The only emotion I’d feel upon seeing him arrested is a distant one, that of a job well done. And it would probably take years for me to track him down. I’d have to devote my life to someone who probably saw me as nothing more than just another pig . . .”

“No!” said Hannibal. 

“What?”

“You’re not a pig,” said Hannibal. “It would seem that the people at the FBI are the ones treating you like swine.”

“And that’s why I left. I figured that whatever gift I had must have been defective so I put it aside.”

“Not even the other survivors commiserate with you?”

“Jack is busy taking care of his sick wife. As for Alana, she doesn’t blame me if anything she blames herself for not listening to me but looking at me makes her feel uncomfortable. I was told I saved Freddie Lounds’ life but it didn’t stop her from taking photos of me in the hospital. I hope you can see why that’s a time and place I don’t want to go back to.”

“There was a girl?”

“Yeah, it turns out that he had hidden a girl named Abigail Hobbs in his secret basement. Nobody knows why. The only other person who has been kept prisoner by him doesn’t understand why either. Look, can we talk about something else? Anything else?” Will rubbed his face.

“Of course,” said Hannibal. Circumstances had left him with a Gordian knot and no sword.


	2. The Golden Age

Hannibal picked up his phone and hit the speed dial. “Hello, it’s me, Doctor Larsen," Hannibal said.

“What is it that you want?” said the private investigator.

“I want a copy of Will Graham’s medical records.”

“You know that’s illegal.”

“Your point?”

“It will be expensive. It is not merely a matter of my fee but the amount of compensation I will have to pay the person with access who is amenable to persuasion.”

Hannibal smiled at the man's expression of flexible ethics. “Will ten thousand be enough?”

“I believe it is.”

By the end of the month, a copy of Will’s medical records had come in the mail. Hannibal mentally scanned each piece of paper into his memory palace. After he had reviewed the entire file, he sat still in thought. The ambulances to his house had been incredibly slow in arriving, causing delays in treatment. Will had lost a lot of blood and had been put on the operating table the second he had been brought in. 

Twelve pints of blood had been used during the surgery to repair the knife wound. Will had had several brushes of death during the operation. There had been an infection and Will had sunk into a coma for a good part of month before finally opening his eyes. While there was no sign of any permanent damage, there had been a fever during part of his coma. The brain was a mysterious thing and it was hard for Hannibal to say whether Will’s amnesia had a mostly physical or psychological root.

Hannibal carefully put the entire copy in a shredder that did not only vertically shred the paper but turned documents into confetti. If he truly wanted Will to remember, he had several avenues with which to proceed.

He could encourage Will to go back to work for the FBI but he disliked this idea intensely. After thinking about it during his exile, he had come to the conclusion that a major reason why Will had not run away with him was that the agency and especially Jack continued to exert influence on him. He did not want there to be any chance of any entanglement with that particular law enforcement agency or any of its minions again.

He had considered creating a display in town that resembled his prior works as the Chesapeake Ripper. However, the grandiose perversity of his designs would be sure to attract FBI attention and force him to make a hasty exit. Also, he couldn’t be sure that it wouldn’t make Will go into hiding out of fear rather than cause him to remember. It would be scarcely less foolhardy than simply admitting that he was Hannibal Lecter, a man Will only knew as a legendary boogeyman.

The last avenue was the slowest and the least certain. He would have to slowly court Will over again. He would do the things that had attracted Will when he had been unaware of who he had really been. He could even, perhaps, introduce the idea of using certain psychedelics for fun while hoping that they somehow created chemical links in his brain that could stir recollections of the past. Only then could he introduce ideas and concepts that would loosen the grip the vulgar world had on Will. 

Hannibal paused. There was one major stumbling block. If he remembered then his memories of and emotional attachment to Abigail Hobbs could return. He could not be sure that if the pain Will had felt at her absence and death returned that Will could ever forgive him. 

***  
Hannibal watched as Will slowly took off his top near the edge of the pool. He noticed that the scar on Will’s abdomen was thin and flat and white. Whoever had done Will’s surgery had done a good job of minimizing the scar tissue and jaggedness of the cut. 

“It’s terrible looking, isn’t it?” said Will, chagrined. He was standing in his swim trunks.

“No, as scars go, it’s minimal. Trust me, the work is excellent and even a non-medical person, other than an initial burst of curiosity, would not see much to react to . . .” 

“Thanks,” said Will. “Aren’t you going to jump in?”

Hannibal picked up a book he had set aside on a nearby table and said, “I just want to finish this chapter then I’ll join you.”

Will gave him a full warm smile that reached his eyes and dove in. Hannibal looked at him and wondered if this was how it felt like to be in a mythical Golden Age like Adam looking at Eve before they had tasted fruit from the Tree of Knowledge. This version of Will did not know him but he could tell that this version of Will could love and believe him in a way that his Will had before knowing the truth. 

Hannibal put down his book and stripped down to his swimming trunks. He jumped in and swam to where Will was. “You swim very well.”

“I often swam a lot when I was a child in Louisiana. You shouldn’t fish if you can’t swim. Want to see who can reach the other side first?”

“A race?”

“Yes.”

“Accepted.”

He wasn’t even angry when Will reached the other side of the pool before him.

***  
As they had brunch at Hannibal’s house, Hannibal noticed Will looked a bit subdued. “Is there something wrong? If you don’t like the omelet . . .”

“No, everything’s delicious.” Will sighed. “Molly dumped me.”

“Oh, why?” said Hannibal. 

“She . . . It doesn’t really matter.”

“It does matter if you are upset.” While he was secretly thrilled by this news, he didn’t dare show it.

“She thinks I’m more in love with the idea of a family than I am with her.”

“Oh,” said Hannibal. 

“The problem is that I can’t say she’s wrong.”

Hannibal quietly digested this. “Then I can’t say that she was wrong in curtailing the relationship. She may have fewer options as a single mother but it is not wrong of her to refuse to settle for something less than what she needs. I once went into a relationship not because I had a passion for her but because she seemed to fit my checklist of what I thought was compatible and because she was the best option at the time. We did get along. I could’ve lived that way forever but . . .”

“But?”

“We came to an understanding that being little more than roommates was not good for either of us. We came to an amicable separation.” Hannibal had kept his word. His private investigator told him that she was living quietly in a small French town, occasionally visiting Paris and London. “One can not live with the idea that one is merely occupying space next to the one they love.” 

Will nodded.


	3. Urashima Taro

It’s during one of Will's visits to Hannibal's house that Hannibal decides to try something interesting. Hannibal said, “I have quite the treat for you after dinner.”

“Oh?” said Will.

Hannibal reached into his pocket and pulled out a joint. 

“Pot? I used to be part of the FBI.”

“And now you’re not . . .” said Hannibal lightly. “I hope that doesn’t mean you’ll be turning me in.”

“Considering Florida has a proposition regarding legalization up for a vote in November, it’s not a priority.”

“You’ve never smoked this?”

“I didn’t have the money and nobody ever offered. Later on, I didn’t want to lose my job.”

“And now?”

“I’ll take a puff.”

They both moved to Hannibal’s couch after Will had taken his last bite of dessert, a green tea creme brulee.

“Lucas?”

“Yes?” It still rankled slightly to be called by his pseudonym but it was a small price to pay to get this close again.

“How much . . .”

“It’s my treat. You just take a puff, hold it in your lungs then breathe it out.” He lit the small joint and demonstrated. “You don’t need an entire joint, just a puff or two then save the rest for later.” He felt incredibly relaxed and a little giddy. He smiled as he watched Will take the joint from him and puff on it, try to hold the smoke in, and then release it while coughing. He noticed the almost immediate effect it had on Will, and said, “How does it make you feel?”

“Sleepy and a little happy,” said Will. “I don’t think I’ll need another puff.” 

Hannibal took it back, took another puff before stubbing it out in the ashtray. He was surprised when Will rested his head against his shoulder. “Now, don’t take a nap on me.”

“I’m just resting my head. I was wondering . . .”

“What?”

“Ever been to the Everglades or Miami?”

“I can’t say that I have.”

“Do you want to go with me? I mean, like a road trip.”

“I’d love to though I’d prefer you ask me when you’re not under the influence,” said Hannibal. Will’s hand had landed on his knee and was going up and down his thigh. He looked carefully at Will’s eyes and they were dilated.

“You’ve been so good to me . . .” said Will before he learned forward and brushed his lips against Hannibal’s.

Hannibal learned forward to kiss him again, this time for a longer time. It wasn’t only the herbal buzz that made him feel giddy, the press of Will’s lips were even sweeter than he remembered them. 

Things would’ve gone further except Will’s eyes closed and he fell asleep. Instead of waking him, Hannibal decided to let him sleep on the couch and put a blanket on top of him. He wondered if Will would remember in the morning or not and if he did remember, if he would feel the same way.

He briefly imagined pieces of a tea cup now hovering above the ground in defiance of gravity, a partial miracle. He thought to himself that most people would be satisfied with such a thing. However, he was not that kind of man even if this partial miracle was one of the most beautiful things he’d ever seen, something he had no real hope of ever witnessing.

However, he felt a sliver of doubt about proceeding much further. It might not be a choice of having a Will who loved him without knowing or after great struggle and pain, a Will who could love him despite knowing. It would more likely be a choice of having an unknowing Will love him as sweetly as he once did or having a Will who knew and remembered and couldn’t stand the sight of him. 

Tired of the thoughts buzzing around his head, he lit the joint and took another puff. 

***  
Hannibal looked at Will with a smile as they sat at the table waiting for their meal at the Japanese restaurant in downtown Miami.

“You look amused for some reason," said Will, slightly suspicious.

“Oh, it’s just that you love fishing but you’ve never really expressed any interest in sushi.”

“Most of my fishing is freshwater. Usually you have to cook or smoke them.”

“Makes sense.”

“Did you enjoy going on the tram through the Everglades?” There was a tram that gave visitors a two-hour guided tour of the Everglades.

“I did.” He found the tour very interesting though for a very different reason than most tourists. He had wondered about the feasibility of dumping body parts in the park without being caught. In the end, he decided that taking the parts out to sea would be less risky. “I found the alligators most interesting.”

“Of course, you would.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“You’re the type who’d find apex predators the most interesting.”

“Oh, and why is that?”

Will frowned. “I don’t know. Just a hunch.”

Before Hannibal could further question him, the waitress appeared and said, “Are you ready to order?”

“I am if you are,” said Will.

“I am, but you go ahead.”

After Will ordered the sushi lunch special and Hannibal ordered a chirashi, the waitress walked off while a server poured them both cups of tea. Hannibal looked at the cup and said, “Occasionally, I drop a tea cup to watch it shatter. I’m always disappointed when it doesn’t rise from the floor and reassemble itself. Someday, perhaps it will.” He glanced up at Will’s face then frowned slightly at the look of shock on Will’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“It just sounds familiar for some reason. I keep thinking . . . Oh, wait,” said Will as he relaxed. “I must have seen it on a science special about time travel and relativity.”

“You seemed upset.”

“No, no, I just couldn’t figure out where I’d heard it.” 

While they ate, Hannibal remembered a case study of a man who had apparently lost the ability to create new memories and remember things after a certain point. Yet after a doctor had tricked him into shaking hands with him so the sharp end of a tack was pressed into his palm, the patient had thereafter declined to shake hands with him even if he could not say why. He briefly wondered if Will had memories of him that weren’t accessible by the surface mind but deeply affected how Will behaved with him. 

Hannibal said, "I’m reminded of a fairytale written up by Lafcadio Hearn, who collected Japanese folktales. Once there was a fisherman named Urashima Taro who saves a small turtle from a group of naughty children. It turns out that it’s actually the Emperor of the Sea’s daughter and he’s invited to come visit the palace at the bottom of the sea. At her palace, the small turtle turns into a lovely princess. After a few days visit, he wants to go home. He is given a box that he mustn’t open. He rides a large turtle back to the surface only to find everything has changed and three centuries have passed. Despite her warning, he opens the box in a panic and he is suddenly aged. It turns out that inside the box was his old age. There is actually a phrase in Japanese ‘Urashima Jyotai’ to describe someone who has been left behind by the times or someone who returns after a long absence and finds that everything has changed. The story’s even been used to describe the effects of traveling at the speed of light where the traveler ages at a much slower pace in the spaceship compared to the ones who stayed at home.”

“Would you get on a spaceship and visit the stars even if it meant that when you returned home, three hundred years had passed and everybody you knew had gone?”

Hannibal was a little surprised at the question though not at all displeased. “When I was younger, I would have no problem going alone into the celestial void, out of curiosity. And you?”

Will snorted. “For different reasons, I would’ve hopped on without hesitation from age five through all of high school and even my time as a cop. But now I‘d have to think long and hard on it though I don‘t have a fraction of the obligations most people do.”

“I think it is because as one grows older, one realizes that it would be dreadfully pointless to have no one to share the experience with.” 

"You may be right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urashima_Tar%C5%8D is a real Japanese folktale 
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lafcadio_Hearn is a writer who wrote a lot about Japan and New Orleans. 
> 
> The case study Hannibal is thinking about is mentioned in a story by Oliver Sacks, a neurologist, in one of his books.
> 
> http://www.sharkvalleytramtours.com/tramtours.html is the tram company.


	4. Pandora's Box

“I was wondering if you would like to try something fun?” said Hannibal as they were sitting watching a nature documentary on the big screen television. 

Will smiled. “Are you talking about a different kind of weed?”

The ends of Hannibal’s mouth edged slightly upwards. “No, I was thinking along the lines of magic mushrooms.”

Will frowned. “You seem interested in street pharmaceuticals. You weren’t a drug dealer in your past life, were you?”

“No, no, nothing that tawdry. I just like to have an alternate way of looking at reality on occasion.”

“What are they like?”

“The police academy didn’t tell you?”

“I’d like to know from someone who has taken them.”

“In my experience, a half hour to an hour after you take it, things seem to glow and have halos. Things seem to shimmer and warp. It is like perceiving things through a filter. I especially love to listen to music while under its influence. The hotel room is a pleasant and comfortable environment so you should not have a bad trip. Many people report a lasting feeling of well-being after an experience.”

“I don’t want to freak out on you.”

“You won’t. Even if you did, I would do my best to reassure you.”

Will give him a look. “I hope you don’t plan on offering crack or heroin next.”

Hannibal scoffed. “I have no interest in becoming an addict. I am only interested in things that offer mental expansion as well as mood alteration.” Hannibal took the coffee maker and made some hot water. He had some dried ones that he would steep for a few minutes before serving. “Even if you have no interest in taking it yourself, do you mind if I take it?” 

“Go ahead.”

Hannibal knew Will was watching him drinking it with interest. “I hope you don’t mind if I turn off the TV and turn on some music?”

“No, that’s fine.”

Hannibal took out his mp3 player and connected it to speakers he carried with him. They were small but of the highest quality, as good as any home stereo system. He decided on Bach’s Goldberg Variations. He lay down on the bed. He was pleased when Will got on the bed with him. “I must warn you that there is nothing more boring than watching someone else get high.”

Will laughed at that. “We’ll see."

“How does it taste?”

“Admittedly . . . Not so good, but the aftertaste does not last.”

“Lucas?”

“Yes, Will.”

“A few days ago, I saw Molly at the grocery store.”

“Oh, how was she?”

“She was fine. She’s dating a chiropractor. She said . . .”

“What did she say?”

“She wondered if I was happy with my boyfriend . . .”

“I don’t . . .”

“She was referring to you.”

“Oh.”

Will looked at him. “I . . . don’t usually go for men but . . . If I’m making you uncomfortable, I can leave.”

Hannibal grabbed Will’s wrist. “No, don’t leave. The truth is that I am very fond of you as well.” Hannibal secretly rejoiced at hearing this. He had worried slightly that Molly would again become a factor in Will’s life but hearing that she had pushed Will into confessing to him had completely eliminated that concern. He even felt a small amount of gratitude towards her.

They slowly leaned towards each other and kissed, then kissed again with the tips of their tongues touching. Hannibal reached up and caressed Will’s cheek and ran his hand through his curls. 

“I shouldn’t . . . You’re under the influence and . . .” said Will, putting his hands on Hannibal‘s chest and pushing him away.

“You don’t want to take advantage. Ever the gentleman,” said Hannibal, both pleased and disappointed at Will‘s willpower and respect. “We’ll talk more about this in the morning. The effects of the tea will be gone by then.”

“Perhaps I could take a cup of it as well now.”

***

The morning after, Will said, “I had a strange dream.”

“Dream? That’s not usually one of the effects. Why don’t you tell me about it?”

“I dreamed that I was swimming in a deep river towards a box on the bottom and I felt that I shouldn’t open it. And that I already knew what was inside it because of dream logic.”

“What was inside it?”

“It was a giant pearl but not perfectly round but a misshapen jagged thing like thorns or horns. And it wasn’t pearl white but had red markings all over it. And that if I took it out, it would give me nothing but grief. It was so strange.”

“I don’t know what to make of it,” said Hannibal. 

“Other than that, the mushroom tea was enjoyable,” said Will.

“Can we continue what was started last night?” said Hannibal as he put his hands on Will’s shoulders.

“If you like,” said Will as they kissed each other again.

Hannibal thought about how people liked to say that kisses were sweeter than wine and found that comparison lacking. In truth, there was no liquor or drug whose lack could have made him cross an ocean into danger; only the bouquet of Will’s hair and skin, the warm, welcoming softness of his lips and the beauty of his eyes and mind could have done it. 

***

Besides his usual dishes, Hannibal took along a bouquet of Moonstone roses, lovely white flowers with a slight pink tinge. He bound them together with twine then wrapped the stems with paper for easy handling. He did wonder how Will would react to being given flowers but hoped that the romantic intent behind them would delight him.

However, when he went to Will’s house near the beach, Will seemed subdued though he did smile at the flowers. “What is wrong?” he said as he plated the food on the plates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://www.helpmefind.com/rose/l.php?l=2.898.1 is an article about Moonstone Roses
> 
> http://science.howstuffworks.com/magic-mushroom.htm & wiki has information about them. They're not as mind-warping as the combo he gave Mason.


	5. Here Be Dragons

“Jack Crawford came to see me yesterday. He wants me to work on a new case for him.” Will sounded weary. He also shook a couple aspirin into his hand from a bottle and swallowed them with a gulp of water from a glass. 

Pressing his lips into a line, Hannibal thought to himself that he was fortunate that he had not been at Will’s house at the same time Jack had come knocking. All the resulting scenarios he imagined were ugly and disruptive in the extreme. “What case?”

“It’s been in the news. Someone has been killing entire families in their homes.”

“They have the technology and the most brilliant minds in criminology,” said Hannibal though he could barely repress a sneer and had to expend effort not to sound sarcastic. “You should not let him browbeat you into doing their work and running the risks. No, not even your superheroes are capable of taking care of all the problems of the world. It is time that Jack finds someone else to sacrifice.”

Will frowned. “You sound like you know Jack pretty well even though you‘ve never met him.”

“After you told me of how you got the scar, I did some reading about the case,” said Hannibal. In truth, he had read several books about the case out of curiosity of how others viewed the whole affair. Most were far off the mark with Freddie Lounds ironically being closer to the truth than most even if she gave it a scandalous (and to Hannibal's taste, a very silly) spin where she was the valiant heroine who faced death in the face and made her escape.

"Please tell me you didn't read any of Freddie Lounds' books!"

Seeing Will scowl, Hannibal said, “I apologize for my curiosity. However, that is not the issue here. How can I not think poorly of someone who asked you to put yourself in a position of danger when he failed to protect you time and time again previously?” Hannibal still resented Jack for being someone who had influence over Will with his forceful if blunt manipulations. “You should not let him use you to make up for his own deficiencies. I have just confessed how much you mean to me. I can not lose you now.”

“I told him that . . . I don’t think I could do what I used to do anymore. Partly because I don’t remember having done most of them. When he talks about the past, I have no idea what he’s talking about. I‘m afraid I might be worse than useless . . . I might point them in the wrong direction so it takes longer to solve.” 

“But you are afraid that if you don’t help, more families will die.”

“Yes.”

“It is more likely that more families will die and Jack will ruin your life in the process of trying to defeat whoever is doing this. Even if you escape complete ruination after solving one set of murders, he will come again and again to demand you solve another set until you can do nothing more for him and even less for yourself. No, you need to put a stop to it. It is true that more people may die but it is not true that you are the only one who can stop this. You may not remember everything but you remember being in a hospital bed with nothing to show for the last case. The next time you might end up in a box. I could not bear it. I will not bear it.”

Will looked startled and touched Hannibal’s face. “You’re crying.” Will kissed his tears away. “If he comes here again, I will tell him no and to never come again, all right?”

Hannibal nodded. He was not above using tricks to get his way but it would be a lie to say those tears weren’t real. However, he knew that after a few more failures, Jack would come again anyway and something other than tears would be required.

However his thoughts were interrupted by a gentle suggestions from Will. “Now, let’s eat.”

***   
Hannibal found that Will tended to be louder if he was wearing a blindfold and earplugs. He couldn’t help but smile around Will’s cock while he was on his knees next to the bed while Will was sitting on the bed, moaning and gripping the bed spread with both hands. He continued worshiping him with his tongue and lips, humming with pleasure, while gently cradling Will’s balls in his hand and caressing the skin with his thumb. 

“I’m about to . . . I’m . . .”

Hannibal slipped his mouth off of Will’s cock and watched as Will came all over his chest. Hannibal stood up and leaned over to take off Will’s blindfold and earplugs. “Look what a mess you’ve made. How do you plan to clean that up?”

Will chuckled before lapping it off him. Hannibal sighed with pleasure at the sight and feel. After Will was done, Hannibal kissed him on the forehead. “Now lie down.”

Hannibal oiled up Will’s inner thighs and lay on top of the man he loved. “Just hold them together,” said Hannibal as slid his cock back and forth between them. “You should know that this was how Achilles and Patroclus . . .”

“Shh, no history lessons during sex,” said Will, making both men chuckle. 

“Don't be ignorant,” whispered Hannibal into Will‘s ear while continuing his thrusting between Will’s thighs. 

After he came, he rolled off Will, sated and comfortably tired.

“Lucas?”

“Yes, Will.”

“How about we do this again later after we drink some mushroom tea?”

“I like the idea,” said Hannibal. 

“Good,” said Will, closing his eyes and going to sleep. 

Hannibal, for once, decided to simply enjoy the moment instead of having his mind continue to spin its usual machinations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Here be dragons" means dangerous or unexplored territories, in imitation of the medieval practice of putting dragons, sea serpents and other mythological creatures in uncharted areas of maps. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Here_be_dragons
> 
> I must confess that in Red Dragon, I felt that Will lost too much to catch the monster. Will was disfigured, his stepson traumatized, his wife feeling the worst feeling in the world since she killed someone, his marriage in tatters, his nemesis gloating. Also considering what happened in the show canon, any reassurances from Jack regarding my safety would be considered of negative value.


	6. Koan

Hannibal looked at the ring he had bought. It was simple but elegant, one large diamond flanked by a smaller diamond on each side in a platinum setting. The cost has been equivalent to that of a car but Hannibal was indifferent to the price as long as the quality was beyond compare, much like the one he intended it for.

He closed the box. It was much too soon yet for a proposal. Yet, he liked the feel of the box in his pocket. He wanted to know that it would be there the second he knew the time was right.

He put it in his jacket pocket and drove over to Will’s house. He carefully looked around to make sure he didn’t see a rental car parked in the driveway, indicating that a certain FBI agent was visiting to again browbeat Will into solving his problems for him.

He rang the doorbell and Will opened the door, looking tired like he used to do in Baltimore. “Something wrong?” said Hannibal.

“I’ve just been getting headaches lately,” said Will.

“That doesn’t sound good.” It gave him an uneasy feeling of deja vu. 

“It didn’t help that Jack called just before you came. He still hasn’t solved the murders and his last plan of attack got Freddie Lounds flambéed.”

“Oh, how disturbing . . . I believe that we are fortunate that you were not the one victimized so.” He was secretly glad that she died in a hideous manner but felt it was inappropriate to express such a sentiment at this time.

“I hated her for writing crazy shit about me while I was recovering. Did you know she sneaked into my hospital room and took a photo of me after she had pulled the covers back while I was unconscious? She wanted to show all the stitches.”

“How rude.”

Will seemed to start at that statement before he said, “Even so, I wouldn’t wish that on her. Look, I'm sorry, you're here for lunch. I tried out a new recipe I think you’ll like and . . .” Suddenly, Will stopped talking and began to have a seizure.

Hannibal caught him to keep him from hitting the ground. He put his hand on Will’s forehead but there was no fever. This was not encephalitis but something else entirely. 

***  
“Our tests show that you have a neuronal tumor,” said Dr. Pamela Schiller to Will at the hospital. Hannibal was standing next to Will on Will’s insistence. “It’s on the temporal lobe of the cerebral hemisphere. It is slow-growing and has distinct margins. This one is very peculiar in that it has a spiky shape, however. But while it complicates the surgery somewhat, it is not malignant, usually doesn’t spread and chemotherapy is not indicated.”

“But you’ll have to cut into my skull to take it out.”

“Unfortunately yes.”

Will swallowed. “Oh.”

Hannibal turned to the doctor. “When is the surgery scheduled?”

“By the end of the month,” she said. “While all surgeries are not without risk, I assure you that the operating surgeon Dr. Wong comes highly recommended.”

“What will the aftercare entail?” said Hannibal.

“He will be staying in the hospital for three to five days. Depending on his condition after the surgery, there may be need of rehabilitation. It will depend on our therapists’ assessment of his ability to walk, take care of himself, see if his speech or vision has been affected. Does he have someone who will help him after he gets home?”

“That would be me,” said Hannibal.

Will put his hand on top of Hannibal’s. “You don’t have to. I can . . .”

“I want to,” said Hannibal. “Hush.”

***  
“No, Jack, I can’t help you. Why? I’m going to have brain surgery by the end of the month. You already had problems getting me approved to help you before, how can you get me approved after they diagnose me with a brain tumor on top of that? No, I can‘t delay my surgery!” said Will before hanging up the phone.

“I can not believe how persistent he is,” said Hannibal, only showing a mere wisp of the amount of rage he felt toward the man. While Jack had been an admirable dining companion, Hannibal had not been blind to his faults and time, if anything, had made him worse.

“Well, that’s Jack for you,” said Will. Will looked at him with tears in his eyes. “I . . . want to thank you.”

“What for?”

“These past six months have been the best time I’ve ever had. I want you to know that in case . . . If something goes wrong, I wanted you to know.”

Hannibal felt touched by this declaration. He wrapped his arms around Will and held him tight.

“I’m going to be so ugly,” said Will. “They’ll shave my head, cut a hole, fish around in there and put the cap back on. I’m going to be a sight.”

“Your hair will grow back and scars are a powerful reminder of what you have endured. It will be proof of your tribulations. It will be a sign of your strength.”

Will chuckled. “Ever the poet,” he said. 

***  
The surgery was a long one but it had gone off well. Hannibal had seen the MRI and remembered Will’s dream about the jagged pearl. Perhaps his body had been trying to tell him that something was wrong but unfortunately was unable to use a language that his conscious mind could comprehend. The only saving grace was that the main part of the tumor was not large and rested on the surface of the brain instead of being buried inside his gray matter, necessitating deep probing and cutting. 

He looked at Will in his bed, looking so vulnerable and pale. As the one Will had assigned to be his agent when it came to medical care, he gave directions that Will was not to be disturbed by one Jack Crawford, who would only stress an already over-taxed mind and body. If Jack Crawford were to appear, he would take care to hire a lawyer to write a letter detailing Will’s medical condition to his superiors and inform them that if he did not stop and desist, there would be a lawsuit with the nastiest sort of publicity. While Hannibal did not want any sort of publicity, it was not like they knew that. He also had looked up one of his former patients and thought of using him against Jack if he dared to show his face around Will once more. 

Will would need care after the surgery and as his caretaker, he would have unlimited access and time to guide his recovery. Also, depending on what effects the surgery had, he could help guide the healing, make things mend a certain way. Of course, he would hire help for the duties requiring physical exertion but as the person in charge of hiring and firing, he would still maintain control. However, any and all planning was on hold until he could see and hear what condition Will was in. 

It was towards the end of the second day that Will opened his eyes. Hannibal was sitting next to the bed during visiting hours. 

Will blinked and a look of fear crossed his face. It was then that Hannibal knew that Will remembered. Instead of feeling triumphant, he felt troubled and sad.

“You remember?” said Hannibal.

Will nodded slowly. “Not everything but enough . . . Why . . . Why did you return?”

Hannibal leaned towards him so his lips were only a few inches from the shell of his ear and whispered, “I have tried so very hard to live without you but I found myself unable to.” He had so very much wanted Will to remember and see him as he truly was but now that Will did recognize him for who and what he was, it tasted so bitter. “I missed you so very much. I did not come to hurt you.” This was no moment of joy where Penelope finally recognized Odysseus as her true husband and threw her arms around him, a tearful and bittersweet homecoming with a long night of rediscovery through lovemaking. He began to be afraid that it was going to be more like the moment where a messenger came to tell Achilles that Patroclus had fallen outside the walls of Troy. Hannibal dug into his pocket and showed Will the ring inside the jewelry box. He heard Will sigh at its beauty and obvious expense. “This is for you . . . If you still want it.”

Will sighed and put his hand on Hannibal’s cheek. “I want to know . . . If Mischa was to appear in front of you right now, an innocent girl who loves you with all her heart . . . Would you insist that she become like you in order for you to love her in return?”

For once, Hannibal was dumbstruck by his question. “Will . . .”

Will caressed his cheek with his thumb before his arm fell and his eyes closed. Hannibal could only hold his palm and press a kiss to his skin. 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is a koan? According to the dictionary, it is a paradox to be meditated upon that is used to train Zen Buddhist monks to abandon ultimate dependence on reason and to force them into gaining sudden intuitive enlightenment. I suppose that Will could be said to make these type of jumps in the TV canon and in some sense, Hannibal is that type of riddle though not something ever to be used by Zen Buddhism.
> 
> Also remember when Pandora closed the box, Hope still remained. The question is then, whether Hope still remains or has escaped its confinement.
> 
> http://www.abta.org/brain-tumor-information/types-of-tumors/neuronal.html is where I found information about the type of brain tumor. I tried to avoid cancerous tumors as I wanted to avoid chemotherapy for Will. 
> 
> Depending on how the brain surgery went and how much one's brain was damaged prior to the surgery, the patient may have lot of visits to a center afterwards. John Hopkins has rehabilitation therapy for example: http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/neurology_neurosurgery/centers_clinics/brain_tumor/treatment/surgery/post-surgery-care.html If you EVER have or notice someone else having problems with continuing headaches, vision problems or behavior (even if not violent but instead becoming way too mellow), do make sure to check it out. One of Oliver Sacks' cases was about a man who unfortunately ended up having to have surgery to get rid of a tumor the size of an egg and he was permanently institutionalized with very, very limited ability to create any new memories and was permanently adrift in the 60s. He was also blind but without knowing he was blind. 
> 
> I found an essay about what it is like to recover from brain surgery. I found it very interesting and does show how much of an opportunity Hannibal would find taking care of Will after the surgery though it does show how much work it would be. I do wish TV would stop treating surgery like it was the end of matter. That is why I placed the tumor in a place that would be the least disruptive. http://www.everywhereist.com/20-things-you-can-expect-after-brain-surgery/
> 
> Jack has now attempted a variation of the set-up in Red Dragon but it similarly failed.

**Author's Note:**

> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gordian_Knot The story has a complex knot that is "untied" by having Alexander the Great slice it with a sword
> 
> Not sure if this will be extended.


End file.
